I think people like me are the reason it was invented.
I attempted to hang some shelves yesterday. Sean always makes hanging crap look so easy. Turns out, teetering on a bar stool while trying to hold a shelf up with one hand and a level with the other...you can't screw. Added to that, the level was broken. How does that happen? The stinking bubble was lying.
Long story short, and it was a long story, I got all three shelves up on the wall and level, with only four "practice" holes. The whole thing ended in tears, but it got done. It was one of those wierd moments of missing Sean so badly that I couldn't decide if I wanted to punch a hole in the wall or just fall into a heap on the floor and cry. I did a little of both. It's just instances like that that you realize how much harder things are when you're alone.
There was also a completely false statement made about me sleeping in so I could get my "beauty sleep" that made me want to flip right to boarding schools in the phone book.
He melts my heart though. In the car yesterday, he was staring out the window, zoning out and he said to himself, "I just miss Daddy too much." Before I could get into it, take a peek into his psyche, he snaps to and shouts, "Look at that car! It's mine!" They have this game where they claim all the cool cars driving down the road. It leads to many arguments, complete with shrieking and gnashing of teeth over who claimed which car first. It's fun.
I realize I have been sounding quite negative over the past couple of posts. This post makes me sound like the worst mother ever, but I type in the tone of barely controlled laughter. These punks are my life. I am so very grateful for their being. They keep me centered and give me a sense of humor. I clench my teeth a lot, especially if we're in public, but I love 'em. I know a lot of this is just growing pains and that my kids aren't the only ones that act like this. A lot of it is ages and stages and a lot is that they can't figure out why their hearts hurt so badly. Things will be better when we're whole again.