Friday, May 07, 2010

Mama said

there'd be days like this. I'm glad she warned me.

If anything, this deployment has taught us all the precious reality of time. While I've had a few of those,

"Wait a sec, when's the last time I used this thermometer?"-thought as I've pulled the children's thermometer from my own mouth,
"I'm don-one!"-called from the bathroom, just as I've just finished cooking and plating the kids food and am settling in to my lukewarm food,
"The baby just dumped your coffee. Again."

kinda days, for the most part, time has passed so, so quickly.

Some days my heart just breaks over the things Sean has missed, and other days life is pretty much the same as it was pre-deployment. Even when deployment talk was all hypothetical, I knew I would come out of it a better mama. I have so much more patience. I really, really do. I don't displace my anger. I have more of that mama bear instinct that doesn't always come as naturally to some passive-aggressive types.

The passage of time has been front and center for me lately. Simon's turning into this independent litle being and it blows my mind. Felix is this completely cool cat, that is a billion percent different from Simon, while at the same time idolizing his every move. And Titus is turning into this little spawn of all things evil. He's absolutely refusing to sit in highchairs. He throws food on the floor for fun. He head butts, which is just my favorite thing in the whole wide world. He thinks, "no, NO!" is the funniest phrase ever and positively cracks up every time I say it. Even when I say it with gusto. And when I'm getting ketchup juice on my new skirt b/c I'm eating a burger upside down and backwards with my left hand b/c I'm holding him on my lap while I eat to keep him from shrieking...I have to admit, he's really freakin' cute.

I love knowing that he is the one I'll get notes home from the teacher with.
I love knowing that Felix is the one that turns his lips completely inside out to give the wettest, slimiest kisses.
I love knowing that Simon will, without a doubt, ask these questions every single night: "Are there any monsters? Where you gonna be?"

I like their age differences. The gap that we inadvertantly put between our kids has turned out to be a beautiful thing. Simon knows everything and is really zinging with the sarcastic humor these days. He gets my jokes and does full dimpled smiles over my hilarity. Felix is really coming into his own, while at the same time, still needing his boo boos healed with a kiss. And Mr. T is just my little train wreck. He's growing up way too quickly, but is still clinging to babyhood in certain aspects{i.e. he ain't even concerned about walking}.

So that's where I'm at in this motherhood thing. Sometimes I look at the group of 'em and still can't believe they're all mine. Not in the sense of a possession, but in the sense that I have to take them to doctors appts and the grocery store. I have an invested interest in their teeth brushing and eating habits and dirty laundry. I am the one that cries when they read to me or sighs when they hug me at the exact moment I was needing one. It's me that they sing about when they don't think anybody's listening. It's me they wrap their sweaty little arms around when they're running from the scary kid at the playground. It's my name they call when they're about to show off in a completely ridiculous way. I find their socks. I fix their hair and pack their lunches. I'm the one that will talk to them about girls and puberty and college and careers. I'm the first person they'll tell when they purchase the engagement ring and find out their going to be a Dad. I'm the one that is lucky enough to be called Mama and Mommy and Mom.

There isn't a girl in the world who could do this job for those three, better than me.

Happy Mother's Day to all the other Mamas out there who are doing the best job they can for their kiddos.
Surely, I will have pictures to post on Mother's Day of my knuckleheads, but for now, I like this one. Three little bubbles.

3 comments:

Dr. L said...

Happy Mother's Day, Mama! May this one be the most special ever!

Corey said...

Happy Mothers Day Chrissy! ♥ you momma bear :)

Kimberly White said...

Happy Mother's Day!