Nine years ago, I married the perfect man. Perfect for me anyway. I didn't know it at the time. He was my prince charming, but I didn't know he would turn out to be such an accurate match for me. We were both so young when we got married. We are still those same two kids, just different. I mean, same at the core, but we've changed a lot in certain ways. Does that make sense?
I can't say we're the same people we were nine years ago, b/c so many things have happened. Kids, life experiences, moving a googabillion times, new cities, new houses, new JOBS and now the deployment.
Nine years ago, Sean and I were both pretty self absorbed. At the time, it didn't seem that way, but looking back on it, we had a lot of growing up to do. I am so glad we did it together. Kids have a lot to do with said maturing, but we've grown a lot individually and as a couple.
He is my perfect compliment.
The things that used to get me all in a tither are now the things I appreciate. I used to get nervous any time I knew we would be around other human beings. I worried that he might say something offensive. I worried he might hurt someones feelings. Now I appreciate that he says the things I want to say. I think most people do. I've never been 100% out there with my inner thoughts, but with him, people know exactly where they stand.
Oddly enough, I can't think of anyone that doesn't like the guy.
A friend told me a while back that Sean's gonna have to get used to me all over again. I guess I've changed. For the better, of course. I imagine I'll have to get used to some new things about him, too. Sometimes I forget all the stuff he usually does around here. I've gotten into such an exhausting routine around here, that that in itself will be an adjustment. Just having someone else to share the kid duty. I can't wait.
I miss his voice. Just the sound of it in the background as he tucking the kids in. I miss his presence. I miss his calls on the way home, asking if I need him to stop at the grocery store. I miss having someone to eat real food with. I miss having a counterpart at get togethers with other couples. I miss being the passenger. I miss taking family bike rides and day trips and walks around the neighborhood. I miss hearing his phone ring. I miss seeing his clothes in the laundry basket. I miss his enthusiasm and having someone to discuss politics and God with. I miss taking pictures of his handsome face. I miss having a hand to hold. I just miss him in all of his little intricacies.