Sunday, August 22, 2010
But now...after she let me be a part of Leila's first day. There's been a shift. It's like I walked through a new door of our friendship. I am just so proud of her and her new little family. I can't wait to see how they grow and change and embrace this new sense of being. It was wierd watching her be a new mom and having all those feelings flood back in. I can't believe it's been almost eight years since that was me.
Yesterday was so amazing. My camera saves me from a lot of awkward moments. I love that I usually have it as a mask. I caught myself starting to cry so many times yesterday. I just stick my camera up there til I'm composed and nobody is wise to my sniffling.
What is it about newborns that makes every statement so philosophical. Susannah said she could believe how much her shoulders and arms hurt. All I could think was, "It's because you're carrying around the weight of your world." All those new worries a mom has, "Is she eating enough? Is she pooping too much? Should a baby sneeze that much?" I didn't say it out loud, though. I tend to keep those kinds of thoughts to myself in case I'm the only one that thinks it's so philosophical. Then I come home and blog it, so I guess I didn't really keep it to myself and now you all probably think I'm an arse.
The last weepy moment I had and it was oh so sweet and I want to write it down, just in case Susannah decides to join the scrapbook world and forgets what she said. The baby was all done with the pictures. I mean done. The last few shots are of her in this basket in the sweetest little dress EVER and she is screaming her flippin' head off. I kept shooting, b/c screaming babies are just as cute as calm babies. Susannah squated down and was stroking Leila's cheek trying to calm her down and it just wasn't working. So she picked her up and she was soothed right away and Susannah said quietly with a beautiful, exhausted smile, "I'm somebody's mom now."
I just love the miracle of it all.
just a little side note: Titus sat on my lap while I edited a good bit of the pictures. He is in love with this baby! He keeps saying, "Eh babaaay." SO cute.
Posted by camport at 10:23 AM