Tuesday, December 07, 2010


me: "Simon, did you put Felix's clothes away, too?!"
Simon, obviously proud of himself, "Yep."
me, thinking I'd made a connection with my eldest of monumental proportions. I mean, c'mon, we're talking laundry. : "That's awesome. You didn't have to do that!"
wait for it...

Simon: "Can I have a dollar?"
me: "I don't have a dollar."
Simon, growling and grumbling and flopping about stomping: "I should get paid!"

Ain't that the truth, Bud, ain't it.

Another money conversation, just so you Grandmas know how completely rotten my children are. Simon got his first birthday card yesterday. My Grandma Watson always sends $2 in her b-day cards. My kids have caught on to that.

As Simon is gently opening his card, Felix whispers, "I hope you got some money."
Simon: "I GOT SOME! Hm, two dollars? That's...cool."
Felix: "If I do something for you, do you think I could get one of 'em?"

I love that kid. The answer was an emphatic negative, by the way. It's okay, Felix knows all of Simon's hiding places.

lead in: we're doing Elf on the Shelf this year. Our elf isn't the plasitc face one, though, it's truly just a stuffed animal looking elf. Plus, after watching Elf, I think my children full expected Will Ferrell to come live with us for the month. Seriously. Nine days in, our elf still doesn't have a name and the loser chose Sean's underwear drawer as his first hiding place. This is where Simon made his discovery. As you know, you can't touch the elf or he'll lose his Christmas spirit.

Simon, whispering conspiratorily: "It's not a real elf."
me: "What are you talking about, of course it's a real elf."
Simon, emphatically, "No, it's not!"
me, launching into a speech: "The only way you would know that is if you touched him and that would be very unfortunate because then....."
Simon: "I saw the tag on his back. Real elves don't have tags on their back."
me, cracking a giant smile that couldn't be covered with any excuse, "Oh..."
Simon: "Then I squeezed him. He's full of squishy beads."

So, he figured out that it's not a real elf. He's also figured out the truth about Santa I'm afraid. I'm trying not to confirm his disbelief, but I'm not really pushing Santa either. I don't want him to ruin it for Felix{he's totally the type that would}. The kids at his lunch table took a vote on who thinks Santa is real. He didn't raise his hand, but I think it's only b/c nobody else did. He's so sweet, I think he felt guilty for doubting. :(

There's another pretty long convo, but I realize it's not worth repeating in such a public forum. Long conversation short, I made the mistake of comparing corn dogs that they had peeled and left disgusting looking to dingalings. I assumed, as little boys, they'd already made the connection. I was wrong. It was bad, though hilarious. I am no longer in the running for mother of the year. The end.


Corey said...

oh your kids are money hungry too? Jake made a bet with Pete last night and lost 4 dollars. I thought the kid was going to cry. Pete gave it back. ;p Isn't it kind of sad when they start doubting Santa? It makes me sad. Jake has been doubting for a couple years now, since our old neighbor told him 'the truth'. I told him when you don't believe, he doesn't come. That pretty much fixes all his doubts!

nicole said...

sad that the doubting comes so soon...hanging onto this year because it might be our last of truly believing!

lauren is was totally doubtful about our elf too...until jeff - i mean elfie left her a note recounting things she had done during the day before - she was sold after that - and kind of scared of him too!

Jude said...

no, you did not mention hot dogs and weiners in the same sentence? Meals will never be the same for you again my friend. Sorry. You dingaling. ;)
Oh, sorry, that was so mean, but I was laughing so hard whilst reading that one!