Monday, February 14, 2011

an imperfect love

Husband, love your wife:

Sean found this sermon a few years ago. Paul Washer, in my opinion, is the best preacher of this day. He does not mince words, that's for sure.

I guess this post will probably turn into another praising Sean, even though he was kind of a turd yesterday. On the Lord's Day of all days, for shame. :)

I guess it started during church when they were doing baby dedications. They quoted Psalm 127:5, and I added, "Aw, my quiver isn't full yet." And he replied, "Woman! Your quiver is plenty full."

Coming up on the ten year mark, I can honestly say our marriage has not been all sunshine and lollipops. He is stubborn as a mule and I'm a redhead, so...I know I give off the impression that I am a sweet, genteel, somewhat Southern woman, but in actuality, I can sling some nasty, sarcastic statements at the man I love most. I actually pride myself in some of those slingers. No worries, Sean is quite witty himself, don't think he's verbally abused. Given our style of arguing, one of us usually cracks pretty quick. It's tough to fight dirty when your laughing.

I say all that tongue in cheek, of course. We really don't argue much. I guess we know each other well enough now to anticipate the issues. There isn't a thing in the world we hold back and that tends to sidestep a lot of problems. We talk about everything. I mean erry-thang.

There isn't a topic out of bounds for us. We talk about God mostly, faith, doubts, religion. We talk about our extended family. We talk about the weaknesses we see in each other and in ourselves. We talk about our kids. We talk politics and current events. We talk about health stuff. It's just all out there. I tell him things I wouldn't tell another soul. He's my buddy, my sounding board. I have no fear of embarrassment or having him spin something I've told him to benefit himself. I know he would never ask of me anything he would or could do himself. I can tell him if he's being a jerk. I can tell him if he's not helping enough around the house. And believe me, he does the same with me. :)

We are selfish beings, humans. It's tough to put others first all the time. In our marriage we haven't always done that, but we changed somewhere along the way.

When you're accountable only to another person, it's easy to be selfish. When you're accountable to the One who gave His life for your sins, it's a whole nother story. The ebbs and flows of our marriage typically coincide with our faith. When we put Christ back where He is supposed to be, at the head of our marriage, right smack dab in the middle and all the spaces in between, we're better. When we try to be where we're supposed to be spiritually, our marriage is top notch. When we're slipping on the faith front, we argue more, we snap more, we have more issues.

It's a great feeling to love and be loved by a person like Sean. He is the spiritual leader of our family. He does devotions with the boys, he prays with us. He initiates these mind boggling discussions with me. Most importantly, he practices his faith out in the real world, more than anyone I've ever known.

All the time, I say to Sean, "If you can't respect someone, what's left?" Once I lose respect for somebody, all the other feelings were gone long before. I hold that value above all others, even before love. This is true with Sean, too. I more than love him, I respect him. I respect his stance, his opinion on things. When he speaks, I listen(most of the time, but dude, don't talk about life issues when I'm in the middle of calming a tantrum or watching Modern Family). I think he's brilliant. I give him due credit in the intelligence dept.; he is truly the smartest person I know. I cherish our time together, even on the "I'm gonna stab you!" days. I admire him. I take pride in his accomplishments. I think he's hilarious, especially when he's tired. Ironic, considering when he's tired, he's an absolute bear. The turdiest of the turds when he's tired, but also the funniest person to be around.

We don't really do anything for Valentine's Day, especially when half of us has to work{grr!}, but I figured this post had a place and what better day than this?

Pictures of the kiddos to come after nappy time.


Brown English Muffin said...

This was simply beautiful Chrissy!!

Corey said...

I love this post!

Jude said...

can i say a great big "DITTO" :)