Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Yes, God?

Last week, the short version...
Sunday, we said a very emotional good-bye to a group of amazing people. I have never felt so loved in my entire life. To have people talk about us in such a meaninful way straight to our faces, it meant more than I can put into words.

Monday, the movers came. They boxed up all of our worldly possessions, put them on a truck and drove away. Before they were even out of sight, Sean got a phone call.

Ring a ding ding

The back and forth game started. There were a lot of maybes up in the air, but we decided to go with plan A since nothing was definite and there was still a lot of "possibly" chatter going on.

Monday night, we put Mack in storage and spent the night at a very gracious friend's house.

Tuesday, we drove all day and got to Sean's parents house around midnight. Sean spent what felt like two solid days on the phone with a bazillion different people.

Some time between Tuesday and Thursday, when we got to my parent's house, we got a solid, "Your deployment has been canceled."

While this is a good thing, a GREAT thing, it really throws a wrench in our plans. We've been preparing for this deployment for months. Knowing it was coming, followed by a move, we lived in a motorhome. With three kids. For foooooour months.

That decision led to the decision for me and the boys to stay with family during the deployment. I thought it would be a great opportunity to spend time with family, let the boys get reaquainted with their cousins, visit with friends, etc etc.

Now, I'm torn.

I said premature good-byes. I'm missing a very important homecoming. I'm homesick for a place that really isn't home anymore. Sean is missing Simon's birthday and Christmas for no reason, really. I wish the powers that be had come to this conclusion earlier. If they'd decided just one day sooner, we would've had time to make some adjustments to our plans.

That said, I have to think there's some divine intervention at play here.

We're sticking with plan A for now. Sean's getting on a plane and flying home while me and the boys stay here in SC. It's just for a few months, it's mortgage free living, Sean has a lot to do before school starts, yada yada yada. All the reasons and excuses have been made, but I still feel like this is a decision we're making. To be apart.

"Why be apart if you don't have to?"-Susannah asked.

It's the same question my heart's been asking. The military forces separation enough as it is, I really don't want to make that choice. People have offered us a place to stay, but it's a bit intrusive when it's five people X four months. I get overwhelmed by this crew and they're my kids.

The emotions are kicking in. Last night, I got a tad teary eyed over the Chipmunk Song. It was a mix of knowing what's coming and memories of the kid on the Bass. I'm gonna miss Sean, but I get to spend time with my family. It'll suck to be apart, but at least there aren't oceans and war separating us this time.

For now, I/we're rolling with it. I'm too confused to do anything else.


jessica said...

Eeeee gads! I don't know what else to say! Tough spot chicky, but you have a good perspective. Let it ride and more decisions will be made in time. Lots of love from our way. I'm plotting a trip cross country... let me know where you'll be as it gets closer... :)! Nothing like SIX kids to make your THREE seem peaceful!!

Kolt and Susannah said...

I still say you should come back. This is my selfish side talking, but once he starts school, you'll never get to see him, ever. He may as well be deployed, only it'll be 3 years long. EVeryone we've talked to about it says they are not present at all, they just don't have time to be. I hope you can figure out a way to spend some of the next 6 months together before you lose him to school. I know there are a lot of financial benefits to staying where you are, BUT, once he's out of school he's an anesthetist and money really won't be an issue anymore. Of course I'm also coming from 6 months of missing my man and can't imagine any reason I'd spend it away if I didn't have to. I know your'e doing what's best.....just come and visit sometime soon, ok?

Corey said...

Oh dear. I've been thinkin' about you all all week. It seems one of those Catch-22 situations. Can't win for losing. But I think I'm in the same boat as Susannah...why be apart if you don't have to? How big of a deal would it be to just go get Mack out of storage? I realize it would probably cost a lot to get the 4 of you back to TX, but. but..but..but... I don't know. I really don't have any solution. I wish I did. I do know that God has this all in His hands. I'm just gonna pray for you like crazy! Pray for peace and guidance and comfort and His will. Everything will turn out just as He's planned.

Brown English Muffin said...

Like everyone else has said already....god has a plan and he's executing it whether you agree or not...but knowing'll agree!! :0)