As I was walking through TJ Maxx the other day, I made the statement, "I can't wait to have lots of money." It was in regards to this really stinking cute pair of yellow sandals. SO many things wrong with this scenario. And not in the sense of who needs yellow shoes? Or sandals in January?
I have issues with money, as I think a lot of people do. It's not money that's an issue, it's the love of money. Finding security in money. We've had lots and we've had littles. Our lives have been quite cyclical on the money train. When Sean was travel nursing, we had lots. When he joined the military we went back to a little. Well, not a little in the grand scheme of things, but a lot less than we had on the road. Looking at the finances with tax time coming up, we realized he took a major pay cut to join the military. More major than I previously thought. Like a second income type pay cut. O-o BUT, he'll have a degree in the end and I think it will definitely balance out in the end. On the spread sheet anyways. Can't put a price tag on deployments...
Money intimidates me when I see what it can do to people. In 2011, we had a much more healthy relationship with money. We controlled the money instead of letting it control us. I am so thankful that Sean and I are finally on the same page. The word "budget" doesn't make me start a fight anymore. It doesn't make me think of all the restrictions, it actually gives me more of a sense of freedom. Knowing we're snowballing our debt so quickly gives me a huge sense of accomplishment.
I don't look at price tags the same way anymore. I think that part started when the food change started. I look at value over price. I'd rather spend a few bucks more on real food than less money on fake food. I would rather spend $30 on a good, quality shirt than $5 on a shirt that is going to end up in the Goodwill pile within the year. I would rather buy the kids a quality, American made, wooden toy than a piece of crap, lead laden plastic, foreign made toy that is designed to break. That said, I am still a bargain shopper. I want quality, but I also want it at the least expensive price I can get.
When I think about having money again once we're debt free and/or Sean finishes school and exits stage left from ye olde Gov't teet...it's with a healthier attitude than I once had.
When I think about having money again it's with the attitude that I can give more. I love to send packages. I love to tithe knowing we're making a difference in one particular missionary's ministry. I can't wait to give more. I can't wait to send care packages to soldier's wives. I can't wait to give gifts that make an impact. I can't wait to have a house that I love and can afford. Nothing extravagant. I want people to ask, "Why do they live in this house when they could afford something so much bigger?" I want simple. I want affordable. I want to live within our means. Always. I don't want to keep up with the Joneses. Ever.
I don't think it's a bad thing to want a cute pair of yellow shoes, I just want to have the right perspective. Right now, I have a very practical selection of shoes. In the future, I'd like more shoes(+lenses), but not so many that I could feed a small army with the money spent on them.
Just wanted to get that down as a reminder to my future self.