and I know a lot in their life won't be celebrated as grandly as it was for the others. I'd like to document the things I remember and/or have time to document. Though, judging by the eve of my second child's seventh birthday, ALL of their happenings are slipping, as far as grandness goes.
Anywho, I had my first appointment today. I was worried a little about my doctor and the way things work in the military. Being unprepared worked out well in this case. My doctor is an absolute GEM. He actually reminds me very, very much of one of our best friends.
Other than his constant chatter while doing things, ahem, typically done in an OB office, he was awesome. Really, guy? I can't make eye contact during a breast and/or "regional" exam and pretend he's not doing what he's doing. Seriously difficult to do more than grit my teeth when he's saying things like, "looots of pressure."
We made it through the gauntlet of personal history by carrying on a political discussion. Unusual, to say the least, but refreshing to discuss such things without it getting awkward or heated.
Once the ultrasound machine was rolled in, I was completely at ease. And then I was put on edge. He kept the screen aimed at him for a while. A long while. Without sound. I understand why they do that, I've just never had to experience it before. I've always had u/s techs put the screen right up in my face. How sad for those who don't have great ultrasounds.
By the time he finished my measurements and checking out all the boring stuff, I was good and ready to hear or see SOMETHING. Before he let me see, he let me hear.
170 beats per minute of pure music to my ears.
Luckily, the lights were off so he and the nurse could see the screen better. When he asked me a question, he realized I was crying. He stood up and patted my leg. :( I apologized and he said, "It's okay, as long as I can cry, too." sniff! He was definitely feeding me a line, but it was so special at that moment. He didn't cry, by the way, but he did make me cry harder. :D I'll take a sappy doctor any day!
And then he finally turned the screen towards me and I got to stare at this absolutely amazing being. This ten week, 3 day old, 1 3/4 inch PERSON. I cried some more and said, "That's awesome," about a thousand times. Funny how that bitty thing fills up so much space. 1 3/4 inches long and he or she has a complete brain, a beating heart, perfectly shaped little arms and legs. I am thankful. I am in awe of life.
Because I'm using the clinic at USUHS, I was able to meet Sean after the appointment for a minute. I asked him as he approached, "Wanna see something cool?" I pointed to my one ultrasound picture and said, "That's our baby." I waited a sec, pointed to the other picture and said, "And that's our other baby."
"Ha." He said. I didn't crack. I just smiled at him, ever so convincingly. "HA!" He repeated a little more forcefully. I still didn't give. "Ha. Right?" He said with no conviction whatsoever as his face dropped a little. I finally had mercy on him. One baby is good.
This is awesome. You are awesome, little one. We can't wait to meet you.