Thursday, October 04, 2012

up early

I've been watching Little House on the Prairie lately. It's true. What can I say? Cable came with internet and here we are. Yesterday, Almonzo was working too hard to make sure he didn't screw the family over debt-wise. His working too hard led to diptheria and then a stroke. That's the short version. Aside from all the illness, I noticed how lovingly he kissed Laura when she brought him his lunch bucket while he was out tilling. That's what got me out of bed early this morning.

I heard Sean's boots clomping towards the front door. Kinda hard not to with the way the man walks. I swear, he purposely steps on the squeaky boards. Wanting to be a loving wife, having not gotten up early this week to make his lunch as I usually do, I flittered to the living room for an Almonzo-style kiss. Does anybody know why Laura calls him Manly, btw? Is that just a bad nickname? Either way, I think it's funny and how can a husband not want to measure up to Manly Wilder?

See what happens when I have time to blog? :) I do thank you for all the encouragement on the subject, though.

In this, my last week of being 29, I've been doing some introspection and reflection on my life. I've decided the number 29 will probably be recycled. I'm not scared of 30, but I may just hit up the 20's again should I start receiving comments like, "You look good for your age."

Hm. I thought the kids would be up by now. Maybe I'll share some of my thoughts on the matter of my past and what I hope for looking ahead. Most of these are WE statements, but in the interest of self-reflection, I'm making them all about me. :)

In the last decade, I've birthed a ton-a kids. Some days I lose count.

In the past seven years, I've traveled the country east coast to west and back again.

I've become the owner of a giant motorhome.

I've become a dependent of a military member. One would think 'spouse' would suffice, but they give us the title of 'dependent' lest we feel we play a bigger part in our spouses life than the military deems acceptable.

I've sent my husband off to war. Oddly, this seems like such a small thing in the grand scheme of turning thirty. It was so huge at the time and I know it will be huge next time we go through it, but as a bullet point in the grand thesis of life, it doesn't feel so big on this side of it.

In the past decade/five years/year-can't really pinpoint this one, I've learned the difference between religion and Christianity. I've learned what it means to be a Christian in name only. I've matured and corrected and altered so very many parts of my relationship with the Almighty and acknowledge that those redirections will continue every single day of my life until the Good Lord calls me home. See there, already making old lady statements...'calls me home.' Could I be more of a Grandma?

Oh snap, I hear footsteps. It better be a ghost and not one of my offspring up this early...

Ah, refrigerator gurgling. Not ghosts, not kids. :)

In the last two years, I've discovered a ton about the public education system. Obviously, this coincides with...In the last two years, I've become a home educator. I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything. That's not true. I would possibly trade it for an excellent private school education. Unfortunately, that it not a luxury we can afford for our gaggle of children at this time. Maybe one day. If we can find the right school, with the right standards, with the right philosophies, with the right agenda, with the right staff, with the right location, all at the right price.

In the last three years, I've learned everything I can about our food supply. I thank God for what I know and I thank Him even more for what I don't. I've become a lot of things I never thought I would. In fact, if you look back far enough on this blog, you will find posts in which I mock mothers who wouldn't give their kids soda. There are posts snubbing the organic movement. There are so many posts I look back on, wide-eyed at my attitude and ignorance. It's amusing.

Four years ago, I was head over heels in love with politics. Once I made it past my Faux News Conservatism and truly started to dig, I learned more than I wanted to. There are so many things I wish I didn't know about our country and the evil that runs it. I'm not talking Democrat vs Republican, either. Both sides and their supporters make me want to throw up. The facebook posts show a level of ignorance that remind me of myself not so long ago. The things that you can uncover if you look just a little deeper than mainstream media and twitter links and online articles written with such a slant the letters can barely stay on the page...it's astounding and sickening and will make you turn your head every time a talking head appears. Moving on!

Three years ago, I became a Texan. In part, due to that whole military dependent thing, but mostly because I fell in love with the place. The military got me there, the friends and cowboy boots kept me there. I made some of the best friends I'll evereverever have and I miss it(all but the weather) every day.

Nine years ago, I started a hobby that has since fallen by the wayside compared to the time and effort it once required. The memories are still on my shelf, but most importantly the friendships I made because of said hobby are still there. The girls I plan to live in a retirement home with one day are still a part of my life and that's what matters.

Looking back, twenty really doesn't seem so long ago. I have changed a ton, but when I think of myself a decade ago, I can relate. I can honestly say the 20 year old me was a lot more naive about things, but that could be attributed to age. I hadn't left South Carolina. I'd only been a wife for two short years. I'd just become a mama for the first time. I was ahead of the game as far as typical twenty year olds are concerned, having been married and impregnated so young, but I was still ignorant to the ways of the world. Sidenote: I like blaming pregnancy on just Sean. :)

I'm glad for life experience. I'm thankful for a husband that has pushed me and helped me grow in so many ways over the last eleven and a half years of marriage. A husband that gives me just enough information on a subject to embed itself in my brain so deeply that I have to know more. You think I'm a food monster all on my own? No, no, that's all because he once made a comment about high fructose corn syrup.

I'm so thankful that my husband wasn't content living in one place for the rest of our lives. I'm thankful he took the GIANT risk of quitting his job and involving the whole family in the world of travel nursing. I'm thankful he has big goals and always finds a way to achieve them.

I'm glad that God has shaped me into a woman that appreciates her husband. That He has shaped me and called me to a higher standard. I'm thankful for the thirty years He's given me on this earth. For the blessings and the trials. I'm so grateful for the men He has entrusted me with thus far. I'm thankful that He revealed to me very early on that I was raising men, not little boys. I'm thankful for the desires He's placed in my heart that have matured over the years. Big dreams, not mediocre ones. Ones that require hard work and perseverance, that don't always show their reward immediately.

On that note...the ghosts have turned into hungry, hungry hippos. Like clockwork, the little one is up at 8:00 on the dot!

I'll do my 'looking forward' post another time.

2 comments:

Jude said...

love it Chrissy. And i admit, when you started your food frenzy i told Micah, "there is no way she can do this, she drinks mt.dew at breakfast and thinks cheetos count as a veggie because they are the same color as carrots!" haha on me eh!?!?! But I think it is a good proof that you stuck with something you wanted to change, good job!
Love you and CANNOT believe you are finally going to be older than me!

Jude

Corey said...

We have all 9 seasons of Little House on DVD. I'm not joking. My MIL gave them to us LOL! Manly is a nickname...when she first meets him and she's still quite young, she gets tongue tied because he's so handsome and calls him Manly. He thinks its funny and then comes up with a nickname for her....which is why he calls her Beth.
p.s i love this post...happy early bday!