Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I will.

Today was one of those days.

I followed a link to a link to a link and ended up wanting to dig a hole and get in it. The world just seems so hopeless. The world is hopeless. We have an old, old toilet. It takes forever to flush. Turns out, old toilets were intended to self clean. They fill waaaaay up with water, just high enough that you think it's going to overflow all over the bathroom floor before magically, the water is slurped down into the pipe, never to be seen again.

That's how I feel about our country. It's swirling. The toilet bowl is full(cough, cough of turds politicians), yet rounds of golf amongst politicians and celebrities is all that's on the "news." Heck, I'm not entirely convinced the politicians and celebrities know which is which. They seem to mingle so nicely. People are worried about their jobs and the evening news feels more like Entertainment Tonight.

Anyways, I hopped in the shower to wash the disgust away. Showering is about the only me time I get. Me time, meaning, if I hum and turn the exhaust fan on, it's harder to hear the chaos that is my life. :) That said, 2/3 of my children requested to come in and use the bathroom while I was in there.

Back to my point.

I spent my shower time intermittently praying and worrying. Worrying about this country. Praying for peace. Worrying about a very dear friend who is worrying about her own issues. Praying for a clear path. Worrying about the future my children will face in this country. Praying for wisdom on how to prepare them. Worrying about my lack of faith. Praying God would strengthen my faith. But not via hard lessons, I like easy lessons. Worrying about moving and all the hassle that comes with that barrel of laughs. Praying God will smooth the wrinkles. And on and on and on. I take reeeeeally long showers.

Not long after wasting gallons of water, it was time to start getting ready for Awana. Titus has been known to clam up at verse time, so I wanted to make sure he knew his current verse. What's funny is that this morning I spent a good bit flipping through my Bible looking for verses to encourage a friend. I couldn't really find one that made me say, "Aha! This one!" And then...

"I trust in You, Oh Lord." the Awana Cubbies version of Psalm 31:14

Obviously, an easy verse. Even the three year old nailed it, time and again. Yet in the car, on the way to church, I kept saying it with him. Over and over. And I kept botching it. I was saying, "I will trust in you, Oh Lord."

"It's not 'I will,'" Simon corrected me, "It's 'I trust in You, Oh Lord."

Ouch. How many times do I screw that up in real life? I'm always saying 'I will' instead of just DOING IT. I will trust in You when...what? What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for?

I love it when my kids teach me such simple, complex lessons. I love that my Savior is so very, very patient with me. I love that His holiness does not depend on my faith. He is who He is and He is truthful and trustworthy and He has never let me down.

Just needed to remind myself. For the next time I want to slip in my own will with an "I will..."


Jude said...

love this.
and you.

Anonymous said...

Trust God, he has control. There is no need to worry, everything will work according to His plan.
Love, Mom (AP)