Monday, June 09, 2014

Bat man.

Let me set the scene.

Sean was trimming the yard and the big three were already tucked away in their beds. Not asleep, mind you, but with threats of no VBS tomorrow should they continue rough housing.

Judelet and I decided to watch the yard boy from the front porch. Lightning bugs are a recent addition to the landscape over the last few days. Jude loves bugs and birds and rabbits and all the other vermin that frequent our yard. I attempted to catch a few lightning bugs, but he was more interested in running away from me. I finally got him interested by standing really still in the middle of our yard while the bugs lit up the sky.

I noticed a little bird that kept swooping. I was trying to figure out what kind of bird would be darting through the trees so quietly in the dark. Bats. A pair of 'em.

As Sean finished the yard, I told him, "Come look! Bats!"

He didn't care.

"Come enjoy nature with me! Just for a second. The lightning bugs and bats? Come on!"-I begged.
"My sinuses are going nuts. I did just enjoy nature! By cutting 1/4 inch off the grass."-he rebutted, all while walking towards me. I always win.
I had already collected a handful of rocks for him to toss to play with the bats. I'd called the big boys to their window, knowing full well they weren't asleep yet. "Guys! Watch the tree line!"

Up went one rock, down swooped one bat.

"Cool! Toss another one so the boys can see."-I urged.

I knew bats hunted by echolocation, but I didn't realize how easy it was to taunt them. I assumed they'd still be able to tell the difference between a rock and food. Sean freaked us all out last summer by tossing pebbles and getting bats to swoop down towards us, but that was out on a walking trail, far, far away.

As he tossed the second pebble towards the bats, it landed far enough away that I didn't think the freakin' air rat would swoop right towards me and my baby.

I took off running towards the house, but not before Sean. That fool was gone. He was several strides ahead of me and not even looking back. He was willing to sacrifice his wife and his baby to a bat! The nerve. After I got rid of the heebeejeebees, Felix was sure to meet me at the stairs with every fact about this particular kind of bat that I didn't want to know.

Now I am chock full of info and fully aware of the fact that my husband will not protect me from a bat. At least he makes me laugh.

1 comment:

Tracy Stanton said...

God I love you! This post has me literally laughing out loud!!