Monday, September 15, 2014

Ten more.

-Since taking this blog private, I almost feel like why bother. Then again, I can never find a pen when I want to write my thoughts down, so here it stays. I gotta was kinda cool to see my numbers way, way high. Even if the numbers were made up of strangers or lurkers or long forgotten neighbors, it validated me somehow. In the end who gives a crap how many people read their blog? I mean really. 

-The boys and I spent a good bit of time in South Carolina this month. I spent more time with my brother and sister collectively than we have since we were kids. It was awesome. I loved watching the ease of familial relationships amongst us and our children. Good times, good times. 

-We went to the beach a few times. I can't wait to give this guy the ocean on a regular basis. He loved every second of it. 
-My dad took us to Jellystone in Tabor City, NC. Some of the group stayed in my parents RV and the rest of us stayed in a yurt. This is all the grandkids minus one. We had so much fun!! I can't wait to do it again. :D
-The whole reason for the camping trip was to celebrate this guy turning nine. NINE.
-I took this guys Senior pictures the night before we headed home to Ohio. I just can't even wrap my brain around how fast he grew up. He is the first person I've known everything about from the day he was born and remember with vivid detail. I realize how quickly it all goes and yet I still take almost everything related to time for granted. How is that?
-Sean left for Florida the day after we got home. I should mention, I drove from SC to OH in one day with only one stop. I drove it like a man. No gatorade bottles were peed in, but only because we didn't have any. I was bound and determined to see my man...and not pay for a hotel. See him we did, but only for a minute. He was off the next morn for an anesthesia conference. 

-I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed lately. I don't like feeling out of control. Solo parenting for a couple weeks has me a tad overwhelmed, but it's all the stuff on the back burner that's closing in on me. It's compounded by people who don't get it. And it's usually obvious that they don't get it by their words or actions. It's my issue. It's not their fault that they don't get it and I really ought not to hold it against them, but sometimes I like being selfish. 

-House hunting is on hold. Of my list of favorites, every single one of 'em has sold. Not that I expected the perfect house to sit on the market and wait for us, but it is what it is. It doesn't make sense to get excited about a house yet.

-One last picture. While sitting on the shore, pondering life, watching my people play in the waves I got to thinking. We've encountering something in our family that we never thought we'd face. It's really one of the saddest, most heart wrenching things I've watched happen to someone I love. I don't understand it and I am truly baffled as to the hows and whys. All the sadness and wondering boils down to this: God is in control. No matter what happens, it's in His hands. 
Sometimes the waves are just the right temperature, gentle, just enough to cool you off.
Sometimes they're fun. You're content to let them roll over you as you smile and play and frolic in the surf.
Sometimes they knock you down, roll you over, and hold you under just a second too long, yet you still come up giggling.
Sometimes they smack you full in the face and grind all your tender pieces in the sand and you come up scratched and salty.
Sometimes they're cold and harsh and too wet. They fill you up with the kind of sand you can't shake loose.
Sometimes the waves don't seem to have any rhyme or reason.
Sometimes you get so wrapped up in the waves, you forget you can just step out of them. Walk away from the turmoil of the surf and hope the calm, gentle waves will be there next time.

Sometimes you grasp just how big the ocean is and how little you are in context. It can be comforting to see the ebb and flow of the tide and realize it's not about you. The water will stop because it has been commanded to stop. That same One is He who is commanding every thing in every situation. His Word says it's for our good, for those of us that love Him & have been called according to His purpose. His, not ours.

I'm not trying to be all poetic or philosophical. Our last trip to the beach just happened to coincide with the most tumultuous time in my family. One of those life experiences that you can't imagine happening. An event that takes on a life of it's own and just when you think it couldn't possibly get any does.

I certainly hope the waves coming are of the gentler kind. 

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Even though I am one of those old neighbors, I love reading your blog and keeping up with your sweet family. I do miss you guys and it seems like you aren't quite so far away when I can see your beach photos and apple pictures. This blog and all the photos will be such a treasure for your kids one day. (Is there a way to make a hard copy of all of it for them to have?)