Today Sean and I went on a quick date. He averaged over 50 hours two weeks in a row and this past week he put 66 hours on the clock. Only, there's no clock in the military, so it doesn't matter a hill of beans. His unit is "short handed(there is so much more I want to say, but this blog is public so I'll keep my yap shut)."
All that to say, we needed a date.
In preparation for my upcoming trip to a theme park, I opted to go bathing suit shopping. The last time I went bathing suit shopping was for Titus's second birthday that we happened to be celebrating at Guadalupe River. I planned to wear that suit for life, but I can't find it anywhere.
As weather would have it, our trip to Busch Gardens was planned for the hottest day of the year so far. Since nudity wasn't an option, bathing suit + cover up was my uniform of choice. Off to Target we went. Target counts as a date in my book so long as I'm not having to use cart wipes.
I found my suit in record time and off we went to the check out. Our cashier's name was Zipporah. That's not really essential to the story, except to maybe point out that I pay attention to detail. As Sean was paying, a woman with five kids entered my line of vision. She was pushing a buggy full of kids and her oldest child was also. "It's mama's turn," she said as she wheeled up to the Starbucks counter.
She looked nice. Her kids were all not screaming. They seemed like a comfy, not-so-little family. As I took in the scene before me, just a ten second happenstance, I couldn't make the thought stop once it started: That's supposed to be me.
Instead of talking about it, I just balled it all up in my gut and acted like nothing was wrong. Well, on the outside. On the inside, I was mad that Sean didn't notice that my nothing-is-wrong looks a heckuva lot like my something-is-definitely-wrong. I'm a woman. I'm allowed to be rational like that. Mid way through my Chick fil A sandwich(also counts as a date so long as no one asks to go in the play area), Sean finally asked what was wrong. I didn't take this opportunity to talk about it either. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands/sob.
As we gathered up our trash to leave, Sean said, "This was fun. We should do it more often."
And then we rode home in silence. Have I mentioned Target is 45 minutes away?