Monday, August 24, 2015

First-ish Day of School.

Sean had some work errands to run and chose today to take the boys to work with him. This, the first day of school. I relaxed the controls on my control freak nature and tried to remember that this is what's awesome about homeschooling...the flexibility. The control freak lurking in the background assumed they'd be home at a reasonable enough hour to get school done and attend the CAP meeting.

Because they all looked so spiffy, I made them stand still for a picture on their way out the door. Simon was mad because Felix called shot gun. "You're not old enough to ride up front!" he argued. "Uh, he weighs as much as you do," I reminded him. Hence the face.
 The reasonable hour that I expected them home by + one.five more were spent at Carmax test driving fast, expensive cars. 

Meanwhile, this chucklehead got a jump start on 'em both. Things were rolling along so smashingly, I was taking snapshots. 
And insisting that we shouldn't just write "MATH" in sharpie, we should decorate the covers of the notebooks.  

 He even drew pictures out of each letter. A Pokemon "U," a smiley face "G."
 And then Jude woke up. 
And the printer ran out of ink. 
And the construction paper I never bought was an actual need on the supply list. 
 I set them up on the couch so I could jump in the shower. "Do whatever you want," I said. Clearly I'd  given up all hope for anything as a trip to Walmart was closing in. 

You'd never guess the terror this little chubster inflicted upon our household today. Or perhaps you could if you have a two year old man cub of your own.
 "Oh! A boo boo! Titus, you have a boo boo! MOM! Titus. Has. A. BOO. BOO!" Not a minute later he'd scratched a chunk of flesh from that same brother's face. For no reason other than Titus's sheer existence. 
 Chick fil A is right in front of Walmart, so...All during lunch, this one didn't stop to take a breath. Chat chat chat and at the end of one story he said, "And we all lived ever after rest in peace." I think even he was confused. 
 Walmart. He was talking to Grandpa. "Grandpa come visit. We wan-see Grandma." I really do think he wants to see you both. 
Wouldn'tcha know it? Walmart was out of printer cartridges. 
Wouldn'tcha know it? I'd written down the wrong model number for the printer. 

The others came home about the same time I returned, defeated by Walmart. 

 I got this guy started on his assignments as Simon and Sean headed back out for CAP. This guy who thinks that because he doesn't like writing, he should't have to. "I'm not a writer!" Uh, writing numbers in math isn't asking you to be a writer, Dude, nice try!

It became apparent that we really needed the ability to print stuff. I realized my mistake in the model number and tried to talk myself into a return trip to Walmarts. 
They only had one of the colors I needed and I'm stoked I realized it had been messed with. If I'd gotten home to find an empty cartridge in the bottom of this cut open box, I would've been livid. Since this one was jacked, they had neither color needed. I had to spring for the combo pack. $60 worth of ink. The kicker, a brand new printer is only $45. I vote that the government set up an oversight committee for home printer SHAMS. 
 Once I got all the cartridges plugged in and the printer up and running, Jude figured he'd play Russian roulette with it and turn it off and on while we tried printing important papers. I'm running back and forth between computers and him, tripping and flailing and getting madder than crap. 

Jude then ripped a project waiting to be scanned and uploaded. He colored on another project. If you notice the stools in the school room have levers...his favorite thing to do is pull the lever when the boys are on it. It shoots 'em up in the air and none of them are heavy enough to put the stools back down on their own. If they're under the table with no one sitting on them, the chairs are strong enough to lift the table and dump everything on the ground. We go through the process at least fifteen times a day. It's not awesome. 

At some point between the printer debacle and dinner, I hear Felix say, "What happened to my computer?!" Jude happened. He took a pair of kid scissors and gouged a huge scratch across the finger pad. <sigh> We were all sitting RIGHT THERE the whole time! We just can't have nice things. 

I shuttle his butt downstairs at that point to start dinner. He asks for blueberries. "SURE." He comes running over from the reading nook as if his sock isn't completely purple. A whole pint, smashed into my area rug. Not awesome.
 After dinner I sent the two littles to get ready for bed. As if. Jude comes down as soon as he gets to the top of the stairs. "I pooped, Mom. In my pants." For the second time today. "Where does poop go, Jude?!" I asked, for the second time today. "In there," he answered honestly, pointing at his pants. "No..." I started. "Oh, in da potty." 
 By the end of the day, it was either alcohol or cookie dough. Knowing alcohol would mean needing to take these people to the store again, I went for the dough. 
And we get to do it all again tomorrow. Only double for Simon. It should be amazing. 

All kidding aside, I love this. No really. As much as there are days I reeeeeeally want to ship them all off, they are few and far between. That said, I'm totally looking into a Mother's Day Out or some such something for Jude. Ermahgerd, he drove me NUTS today. 

I think that Sean thinks that my explosive texting throughout the day is a tad overboard. It seems he hasn't had much one on one time with his lil Judelet lately. I'm hoping to remedy that real soon.


mommabear said...

This is hilarious! I KNOW it wasn't at the time it was all going down, but in print it is funny stuff! And you still got great first day of school photos! I buy our printer ink at Walmart. The moms in co-op keep telling me to try the used ones on Amazon, apparently they are much cheaper because they are refilled. I hope day two runs a little smoother! :)

Jude said...

Walmart twice in one day. I cannot believe you didn't reach for the alcohol!!! I just got my printer cartridges refilled at costco. $10!! That's not for my photos, but for any paper stuff we print. Also, Office Depot delivered my photo ones, next day... FOR FREE!!