Thursday, December 31, 2015


This year will go down as a doozy in our history books. We've made some great memories, but also experienced some pretty heavy stuff.

This year, Sean began his new career. We moved, again. We became home owners again. We fell in love with Virginia.

2015 was the year of houseguests. It made not having any local friends tolerable. A whole year with no one to dash out to coffee with has been tough.

This year we began true relationships with two people whom we love dearly. I've learned what it's like to mourn people who are still living and it is a terrible thing.

This is the year that Titus learned to ride a two wheeler and joined the ranks of the big kids. He's losing teeth and reading books. He has requests to play outside hourly. We became neighborhood people again.

In 2015, Felix entered double digits and learned the responsibilities of having a dog. I had a nightmare recently that we got a third puppy. Yes, it was a nightmare. Two is too many some days.

This year, Simon became a teenager. He wears cologne and has been working out with his dad. He's holding steady at -1% BMI. He's hoping to grow a foot and gain some weight this year. For now, I tell him to eat it up as one day he'll be a fat dad.

Jude grew in the way that two year olds do: quickly. He's gained a couple thousand vocabulary words and is busy all the time. Too busy for cuddles unless he's bleeding from head wounds or being chased by Chihuahuas.

This is the year we tried something new with school for the boys and it has been amazing and incredibly difficult. They are learning in a much bigger and better way than I was able to give and it will have great results in the end(I hope).

This year, we became dog owners. It was a great decision most of the time and the absolute worst decision some of the time. I'm just being honest with that one.

This is the year that we found out we were having a fifth baby! And it was the year we learned how hard it is to say goodbye to a whole bunch of hopes and dreams and love and future. I know in my heart of hearts that I will never truly be whole again. I know that I don't want another baby, but I wish that the one we had hadn't died.

In 2015, we met Sean's biological father. It was such an amazing experience and so heartbreaking to say goodbye so soon. Too soon.

This is the year that Sean and I began to truly focus on ourselves. Having two CPR certified babysitters in the house has opened up a whole new world. We are able to date again. We are able to focus on our health. We've been going to the gym consistently and the Mr. got a half rack, bench and weights for Christmas. He's looking pretty hot to trot while I'm still a little soft around the middle. After thirteen years of birthing and nurturing babies, it's been good to turn inward a bit.

This year, we talked my parents into leaving their home of 20+ years to become our neighbors. Is it taboo to remind my siblings that it's highly possible that this proves I'm their favorite?

It was a year of so much sadness, but so much growth. We grew individually and as a family. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. This year has changed us. We are entering a new phase, it seems, and the goals we've set for 2016 leave us with much to look forward to. This whole post seems like a downer, but it is what it is. The year wasn't a sad one overall, it just feels like the sad moments were pretty defining. There was a ton of adjustments and they were huge ones. I think 2016 will settle us. No moving, no quick adjustments, no babies. I am hoping that the defining moments of this year coming will be happy ones!

I don't have any pictures of last years NYE as we'd just moved in. I found one that's kinda close...I'm a sucker for comparison shots.

(Jan 2015)
Maybe only a mama's eyes can see how much they've grown and changed in the span of a year. 
(Dec 2015)

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