Fifteen years! We made it fifteen years. It hasn't been hard, it hasn't been easy. In light of society and the big, fat joke that marriage as an institution has become, I think we're doing pretty great. We make each other madder than anyone else on this planet is capable. We have our moments, hours, days of bickering like children, but the overall trend is upward.
We balance each other. He is my sounding board and my voice of reason. He is truth when I want to listen to lies. He is the only person that has the power to calm me down. There are times I get so anxious about the dumbest things and with a word he brings peace.
He is the hardest working man I've ever met. He is one of those guys that works smarter in lieu of harder, but if he gets his teeth into something, he'll work harder than is usually necessary(i.e. a lawnmower we bought at the flea market...that he has rebuilt Johnny Cash style, one piece at a time...the story as a whole is one for the books).
He says I am the only person that can make him feel guilt about anything. The other day I mentioned, "It's been 11 months today." Since I lost the baby. He didn't say a word. Just completely ignored my statement. Being me, I didn't let it go. I let it go for the minute. I even let it go for the day, but, he broke my heart. I didn't think he cared. I brought it up again yesterday. I casually (ok, maybe not casually...) mentioned that he didn't acknowledge my statement. And then he said everything I wanted him to say the first time. That of course it bothers him. That people ask him every single day how many kids he has. That people say things to him like, "Gonna try for that girl?" Knowing that he has the same moments of heartache that I do was enough. Most of the time, we're okay with communicating. Sometimes, we still have our hang ups.
It is still my daily goal to make him laugh. I smile so big when I can get a good, hard laugh out of him. It's not easy.
He doesn't mince words. Never. He is always bold and upfront and honest. All reasons he makes a terrible first impression in a world that likes to sugar coat and puts feelings ahead of all else.
He encourages me and makes me feel valued. He gives me his most precious resource, his time. He doesn't give a crap what other people think of him. Not even a little bit. You should see the snow boots he bought for our one winter in Ohio. Bo-bos does not even describe these boots. I still give him a hard time about 'em.
He is hilarious without trying. Side splitting, gut clenching hilarious. Even when he's being really hard on the boys for something they deserve, he'll be lecturing full force and throw something in there to break the tension that cracks us all up. He has the craziest analogies, that are usually medically related and disgusting, that make so much sense. Yesterday, for example, he referred to a dog scooting it's butt on the carpet as being in the full breech position. I will never hear birth stories the same.
He is fair, always. He is unique. He is incredibly handsome. He is the smartest person I've ever known. He is loyal. He's got my back. I have nevereverever doubted that.
He is an incredible dad. The type that stays up until 2 a.m. playing Monopoly with his kids. The type that gets super involved in whatever they care about. As far as this parenting gig goes, he's the good one. I'm the quantity, he's the quality.
I've never met anyone like him. There are times I get a good hard look at him and can't figure out how I ended up here or why he picked me. I'm glad I snagged him at 17. If I'd waited, who knows? Most people look at me like I'm insane when I tell them we got married at 18 and 21. I had someone once ask me, "Did you have to get married at 18...?" Not in the sense they meant, but the answer is...yes. Absolutely.
We were so young and dumb and in love and oblivious to things like bills and debt and responsibilities-beyond what movie we should rent at Finklea's. We figured it out together. We figured it out by listening to sound advice, mimicking what seemed to work in others' marriages, avoiding pitfalls we saw in others', and also by falling flat on our precious lil faces more than a few times.
Sean is an amazing leader and he's always made it easy to follow. I guess it's because I know that he's our family's biggest fan and puts us first. When he burned every bridge at the hospital in our home town and he said, "Screw it. Let's travel." When he mentioned, "What about the Air Force?" He's big on taking risky leaps of faith, but he's always landed firmly on his feet.
He doesn't seem to notice my flaws. When I'm having an ugly day, when my hair is so funky that it adjusts my attitude, he looks at me like he can't figure out what my problem is. I don't get it.
The last fifteen years have been quite the adventure. I am so proud to have stood by his side through it all. I meant my vows. I meant them blindly 15 years ago. I meant them without knowing what they meant and now that I have a slightly better idea of what they mean, I still do.