Sunday, May 14, 2017

Mother's Day

Everybody is posting fun Mother's Day stuff all over the interwebs and I'm like, "Ooh, ooh! My turn!" I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to find Madonna-esque photos with each baby, but alas, one is missing. That's what happens when you're old and some of your kids were born juuuuust before everything went digital. Film cameras, what are those? I'm kicking myself for putting some of my pictures in storage. 

Just imagine this x 4. 
I don't know how I ended up with all these boys. I mean, I know how, but I never pictured four boys. I wanted to be a mom from the time I could hold a baby doll. I didn't know. I didn't know what being a mom meant. 

I think I would've been an awesome mother to two children. Top notch, amazing. 
I think I would've been a pretty good mom to three children. Three is fun! It's just enough of a challenge to push you out of your comfort zone. 
I'm kinda just a mediocre mother to four. I don't do enough crafts or make fancy birthday cakes. I don't read to them as often as I ought. I don't get on the floor and play like I did when there was one and two. 

And yet, these yahoos are turning out to be the most amazing young men. I love them with a sense that has nothing to do with will. It's just in there. It's so amazing to me how a mother's love works. The way a mama can hear a baby cry in a full nursery and know it's hers. How a mother can differentiate between a hurt cry and whining. The way our ears perk from a dead sleep when we know vomit is threatening to come out of one of our children. The way you can pick out a kids mother from a crowd, just by the way she's looking at him. I love to watch the way a pregnant woman loves her baby versus the way she loves that kid once it's born. It's fascinating. When you're pregnant, you don't know who that little person is. Once they're out and staring at you, the weight of that love is crushing. It's a love you can't shake. You can't crawl out from under the weight of that mama bear love. You would take on all the armies of this world for your kid. Even when they've pushed you to a level of exhaustion you can't fathom. Even when they barf on you and the smells coming out of them make you gag. Even when they look you square in the eye with all the venom of a three year old and tell you they hate you for the littlest thing. Even when they lie to you. Even when they disappoint you. Even when they take everything you've done for them for granted. 

Even then, you love them. There is nothing more parallel to the love God has for us, I don't think. I guess maybe marriage. But in this world, marriage is tossed aside. A mother's love is not so easily broken. The love for our children is ingrained in us. 

I don't know how I ended up with all these boys, but I'm so grateful for the opportunity to pour into these four souls. They push me, they test me, they humble me, they hurt me, they heal me. They mean the world to me, and then some. It is the greatest calling and I am so thankful God chose me to mother these four. 

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